What are your priorities?

“Action expresses priorities.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

My husband, Jeff and I watched a Ted talk yesterday that I want to share.  It was short, only 5 minutes, but it had a big impact on both of us, and evoked a wonderful conversation about our priorities.

We all get so caught up in the minutiae of our lives, we get busy and we often lose focus of our true priorities.

Reading Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware, it was painfully obvious that what people regret on their deathbed is what they did not prioritize in their life:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.



Please take time to listen to this short TED talk by Ric Elias, and think about what you are prioritizing.



Please let me know your thoughts on this TED Talk video, and any thoughts you have on your own priorities.

And as always thank you for taking the time to visit, I appreciate it.




Versatile Blogger Award

Thank you so much Genie for nominating my blog for this award. This award is for the bloggers, whose writing has touched the nominator. I am grateful to Genie for the nomination, her blog is about healing and spiritual growth:

The rules for this award are as follows:

1. Thank the person, who nominated you – include a link back to their blog.

2. Tell seven things about yourself.

3. Nominate 10 other bloggers.

4. Display the Award

Seven things about me:

1. My family is the most important thing in my life and I love my gorgeous sons Lukas and Devin, my husband Jeff, my sister Karin and my neice Chelsea.

2. I was born and raised in Northern California and imigrated to New Zealand 20 years ago. I have dual citizenship

3. I recently finished writing my book:
A Woman’s Guide to Transformation
It is now with a publisher, hopefully published by the end of this year.

4. I absolutely love my work – facilitating workshops with my dear friend Deb through our business Figjam Workshops. (www.figjamworkshops.co.nz )

5. I totally believe in the 7 Tools of Transformation that I write about in my book and I try to use the tools on a daily basis. (https://patticlark.wordpress.com/7-tools/)

6. I believe we are all creative beings and are all capable of changing what we want to change (read or listen to any of the recent talks on Neuroplasticity)

7.  I absolutely believe that Happiness is a choice we can all make on a daily basis!

It was hard to narrow down my list to only 10 bloggers to nominate because I enjoy so many of the blogs I have been following.  I have chosen these 10 blogs because they inspire me:

Vinyl Record Face   http://vinylrecordface.wordpress.com/

Lois McCullough: http://loismccullough.com

Smirk Pretty  http://smirkpretty.wordpress.com/

Of Love and Creation  http://ofloveandcreation.wordpress.com/

Paradoxical Wisdom  http://paradoxicalwisdom.wordpress.com/

Known is a drop Unknown is an ocean  http://arganesh3.wordpress.com/

Be fearful of  Mediocrity  http://afirmin.com/

Mountain Top Journals  http://mountaintopjournals.com/history-2/

Between Fear and Love  http://betweenfearandlove.com/

Inside Out Cafe  http://margekatherine.com/


Thank you again Genie!

Thoughts on Forgiveness

“Having looked the beast in the eye, having asked and received forgiveness … let us shut the door on the past, not to forget it, but to allow it not to imprison us.”

– Desmond Tutu

I recently watched a good film called Red Dust.  It wasn’t a great film in terms of award winning cinematography etc.  But it was very good because of it’s thought provoking ideas.


It told the story of one man’s involvement in South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission.

In 1995, one year after the end of the era of apartheid in South Africa, the Government of National Unity under president Nelson Mandela set up the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC). Former government security forces wanted assurance that they would never be prosecuted for human rights abuses and violations they committed under the white rule during apartheid.

For seven years the commission travelled through South Africa to help people dealing with violence and human rights abuses that happened in the past. People committing such crimes – including torture and murder – could file an amnesty application to the TRC. In hearings the Amnesty Committee offered amnesty only to those who publicly confessed all their crimes.


I am well aware that it is infinitely healthier to forgive than to hold onto resentment.   I have read about forgiveness time and time again, and know that forgiveness helps build healthier relationships, leads to less stress, can help lower blood pressure, leads to relief from depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and can even lower the risk of alcohol and substance abuse. And in theory, I am totally supportive of forgiveness.  But watching the movie Red Dust, I had to wonder if I could be as forgiving in practice as I would like to think of myself in theory.  When I watched the parents whose son was brutally beaten and killed by a policeman during Apartheid react to the news that that policeman was asking for amnesty for his crime, I wondered could I really forgive such brutality if it were done to my own son?  I pray I never have to find out.

This inspiring video is about a woman, Wilma Derksen, a mother who speaks on forgiveness, who embodies forgiveness.

Please let me know your thoughts on this TED Talk video, and any thoughts you have on Forgiveness.

And as always thank you for taking the time to visit, I appreciate it.