If you cannot see anything beautiful about yourself – get a better mirror . . .

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Patti Clark

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

– Dalai Lama

I still have tears in my eyes as I write this – having just read an article about another teen in NZ who committed suicide due to bullying. The suicide rate among young males in New Zealand is the highest in the OECD. It’s appalling! Where is the compassion? Is compassion among young people diminishing? Can it be brought back? Can it be taught? Some say that compassion cannot be taught, but I believe it can. Recent studies seem to suggest that it can.

At the University of Virginia, Compassionate Care and Empathic Leadership Initiative — a lengthy, fancy name for a simple, purposeful way to teach kindness, usher resilience and nurture compassion — is seeding change in fertile ground.

It appears that compassion can be taught, according to an article in Huffington Post.

Voluteerism can lead to compassion, and educational institutions are a central pillar in fostering volunteerism among youth. Indeed, it appears that compassion can be taught, which means that today’s educational institutions carry greater social responsibility than ever.

Please take the time to watch this amazing video by a young man who was bullied. Shane Koyczan took his pain and created something mesmerizing.

To This Day,” is his spoken-word poem about bullying.

I’d love to hear what you thought about this YouTube video. And as always, thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it.

It makes my heart sing!

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Patti Clark

“To change the world, we need to combine Ancient Wisdom with new technologies”

– Paulo Coelho

I had an interesting talk with a participant on one of my workshops the other day. She asked me what I liked about facilitating workshops, and I answered that when we have a good workshop It makes my heart sing and it nourishes my soul. Then I stopped and laughed when I heard my words. And I realized how my words so described which “brains” I use when I facilitate workshops. And when I later thought about how I feel when I teach a class, I realized that the words I would use to describe that experience would be more intellectually stimulating. Which of course brought to mind mBraining. For those of you who missed my post on this wonderful book and website, check out Trusting Your Gut!

The idea that we have 3 brains is exciting, but also a challenge in a way. It’s our challenge to integrate these 3 brains, and to pay attention how they work together. Anil K Rajvanshi, a writer in India puts it this way:

To produce deep thought which helps in improving the wellbeing of a person, the gut and heart brains must work together with the main brain. When all work harmoniously, it creates a healthy body and a powerful mind.

I think one way to start to meet that challenge of integration is to pay attention to our words. How do we describe things and experiences. Language is a wonderful way to hear where we are experiencing things in our body. Do you speak of heart ache, do you live in your head, do you listen to your gut instincts? Do you have butterflies in the stomach – which is as Michael Mosley points out:

The brain in the stomach talking to the brain in your head. As we get nervous or fearful, blood gets diverted from our gut to our muscles and this is the stomach’s way of protesting.

I’d like to close with a fascinating TED Talk that my son Devin showed me the other day. It’s not really tied into the 3 brains, except that it made my heart sing, it was intellectually stimulating and nourished my soul. Enjoy!

I’d love to hear what makes your heart sing and how you integrate your three brains. And as always, thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it.

What would you regret?

Posted on March 1, 2013 by Patti Clark

“Remorse is the poison of life.”

– CHARLOTTE BRONTE

I was having a rich conversation the other night with a friend about regret. She asked me, if you died right now, what would you regret most? And honestly, I don’t think I would have many regrets. I did some stupid things in my life, but nothing horrific, and most of the stupid stuff actually made me who I am. And now at 55 years old, I like my life and I feel like I’m pretty much living according to my values. And that feels really good. The most important thing to me is my connection to people – to my sons, to my husband, to my sister and my niece, to my friends. And I feel like I work hard to keep those connections. I feel like I’ve worked hard to connect with my authentic self, and to not give myself away anymore.

And in terms of regrets for what I haven’t done yet – well I have done most of the things that I have really wanted to do in this lifetime – I have a wonderful family and two amazing children, I have a home that I love, I have travelled a lot – I feel very blessed . . . although sigh, to be honest if I was dying before my book got published, that would be a regret.

We were having the conversation after she had sent me this article in The Guardian:

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

The top regrets seem to reflect remorse over a life where people did not honor their authentic selves, where they let the pressure of others and of expectations rule how they lived. I think it is a good question to ask a friend, or oneself – If this were your last day of life, what would you regret? Am I living my life in line with my authentic self? Do I have the courage to truly be myself and live my life according to my highest values?

The same day that I had that conversation with my friend, another friend sent me an email with this link for THE OVERVIEW EFFECT. And although at first it seemed unrelated to the conversation about regrets, after watching it, I realized it is deeply connected. It is about unity and compassion and caring. And what greater regret could any of us have than to regret destroying our home, this beautiful planet.