“Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.”
– Leo Tolstoy
When I watch the news or read the paper, I think I can be forgiven for becoming somewhat distraught. The world is in such a fragile, sad place at the moment. And after discussing this with my sister Karin, we both agreed that being “sensitive” women, open to the energy of the world around us, can be heart-breaking. What are we doing to this planet? What are we doing to one another? Why is this happening?
And going a step further, what can we do about it? On a large scale, it feels as though one small, insignificant person can do very little. It all feels too big. But that feels ‘wrong’ – I have to do something, even on a small scale. One thing that may not seem significant on the bigger scale, but I feel is very significant, is too keep “cleaning up my side of the street.” To stay clear and communicate through my own trials and tribulations to come out the other side. I had a confrontation with a good friend. It felt awkward and hard and it brought up a lot of old stuff for me, old childhood shame and feelings of being ‘wrong’ and bad. My immediate instinct was to lash out at her, but I knew after years of therapy and my own work, that that was ‘wrong’. So luckily, this friend has also done a lot of her own work, so we talked, we communicated through it. It was not easy or comfortable or fun, but it worked. We worked through it, dug below the incident to what it brought up, in both of us, and got through it. I still have some work to do around my own behaviour, but the communication through the difficulty, shattered the small prison of shame that I was sitting in.
This one small incident may not seem significant, and maybe it’s not, in the big picture. But it was huge for me for a couple of days. And no I’m not saying that if we could all communicate better then everything would be peachy keen, but on a smaller scale, if people communicated better with each other, and were willing to be real with one another, I think the world would be in a lot healthier state. But then again, I always have been accused of being a Pollyanna.
The short clip I want to close with may not seem to fit with this post, but I feel like it does, and I really liked it. A short TED talk about Philosophy in Prison. I enjoyed the construct of ‘wrong’ – and more importantly it reminded me of my son Lukas who is studying PPE (Philosopy, Politics and Economics) and who has been away in Edinburgh studying for the past 10 months, and I miss him terribly. So when I saw this clip, and I thought of Lukas, I smiled. So I wanted to include it here. After all in this very small universe that is my blog, I get to make the rules!
“The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along.”
― Douglas Adams
I’d love to hear from you about how you handle ‘wrong’ in your life. And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.
This Way Up 
Hi Patti,
Lovely post –
I hear your concerns about our world and what can we do to make a difference – the best thing I believe each of us can do is as Gandhi says ” Be the change you want to see in the world” and your post demonstrates that beautifully, By taking responsibility to work on your self and therefore to lift your own vibration that will have a positive effect on the worlds vibration. Keep doing what you are doing.
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Thank you Kym. I love that quote, and do my best to live it on a daily basis. Some days are easier than others!
I really enjoyed looking around your site as well. If we both keep doing what we are doing, we may make some positive change.
Win/Win!
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Hi Patty. I share your feelings about your son being away.My daughter Tarney was on a fishing boat out of Kodiak all summer and I was really glad to see her back home. No matter how much you tell yourself it’s OK, you never stop being a parent. I also share your sentiments on the problems in today’s world and seriously think if we are to survive as a species,we need to walk a new path. I avoid the media like a vampire avoids sunlight in an attempt to not become saturated but it still leaks through. Like you, I feel guilty for not doing more but try to keep my mindset in the positive and be part of the change I’d like to see. As usual, thanx for the inspiration and my best to Lukas in his adventure! Doug
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Hi Doug, wonderful to get your comments once again.
I knew I’d miss Lukas when he left for Europe, but man oh man, I have missed him more than I dreamed possible. In a sense, the technology, Skype, Hangout, Viber, almost makes it worse. I can see him, I can text him, but the energy connection isn’t there. I miss the long walks on the beach by our house, just being together.
But – the good news is I get to see him in 10 days! I am overjoyed. Jeff and I are flying to Scotland to visit him on the 16th. My heart sings!
Yes I agree with you, if we are to survive as a species we need to walk a new path. So true. I try to do what I can, and keeping my mindset in the positive as you said, is essential.
Thank you once again for taking the time to comment my friend. You always bring a smile to my face.
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Thank you Patti for this honest and touching post. I love this: “but the communication through the difficulty, shattered the small prison of shame that I was sitting in.”
You ask how your readers work with stuff like confrontations – and I am so very happy i now can see it like the Course in Miracles teaches; everything that happens happens within our mind, and every confrontation is a mirror of stuff i still haven’t looked at and forgiven within this mind. So when people now may behave erratically or seemingly cruel, I know I am looking at scenes that have already happened and are over ( the whole time-thing) and I know that now, what I want is peace. So I listen to the other a nd know that I am as God created me – and so is the other person – and my one intention is to look beyond their angry/sad etc appearances and to the loving essence in them which I share – and then i join with that essence in silence. -That has miraculous effects for me. the outer situations either changes dramatically – or i fall into a deep peace where I can allow everything to be as it it, with great compassion for us all 🙂
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What a beautiful thoughtful and thought provoking comment Leelah. Thank you so much for taking the time to process my post and to comment on it so beautifully.
‘Leaving the womb: entering life fully’ – is a wonderful site. I look forward to reading much more from you.
Thank you again,
Patti
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Hi Patti- I really like what you said, “if people communicated better with each other, and were willing to be real with one another, I think the world would be in a lot healthier state.” I totally agree that if we can communicate about what we are really thinking and feeling, and about the gunk underneath what we are thinking and feeling, (essentially sharing our fears and shame) then we have a better chance of being understood and enhancing compassionate connection. It’s what I help my clients do in counseling- esp the couples I see in my practice. It’s what I strive for in my marriage and life. And yes- it’s hard at times. So I really appreciate your piece on encouraging more of us to do just that.
And I love in the TED talk how that man changed those 3 words, “Let’s do this!”
Namaste-
Heidi
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Thank you for taking the time to comment Heidi. It is one of my biggest frustrations in life that people do not communicate what is really going on. I appreciate the work you are doing encouraging more people to communicate clearly.
Thanks again for commenting, I appreciate it.
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Good article. To me “wrong” ethically speaking is to create unnecessary suffering, first of all. It’s more complicated, of course, but I think it’s the most basic and most important fundament of morals. Thanks 🙂
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Yes I agree; ultimately wrong is to create unnecessary suffering. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.
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