Mid-Life Divorce | This Way Up

“Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.”

―Hermann Hesse

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We are experiencing a lot of pain out there at the moment. A lot of women that I hear from in workshops and via email are going through hard times right now. Children leaving home, friends and children suffering from addiction, dealing with divorce and all sorts of physical and emotional pain.

An article I wrote, Bouncing Back after Divorce was just published in Thrive Global, Arianna Huffington’s wonderful online resources. Although the topic is bouncing back after divorce, the content, I believe, can be useful in coping with a lot of life’s painful events.

The messages are about taking care of YOU, loving yourself through the pain. It’s not always easy to do, especially as women, we seem to have a hard time doing this. But we can move through the pain, shift does happen!

The coping strategies I talk about in the article are ones that I talk about a lot on this blog:

Get Creative
Re-wiring your brain and paying attention to what you think
Happiness and well-being
Love yourself first
Gratitude
Paying attention to Distractions
Paying attention to Inspiration

These coping strategies really do help, read about what you can do, starting right now.

We don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how to act and learn from these events. Shift really does happen.

I’d like to close with a TED talk about surviving divorce. But like everything else, the coping mechanisms described by Dr. David Sbarra, are applicable to most ‘What Now’ moments. One of his biggest suggestions is getting enough sleep – always really great suggestion!

I’d love to hear how shift is happening for you. I love learning from all of you.

And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.

“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you’ll be quite a lot!”

― Dr. Seuss

It is Thursday, April 28th 2016 and I am here to coin a new phrase that I haven’t heard talked about much online, but seems to be a very real phenomenon among 50 – 65 year old women. Triple Empty Nest

We were known as the Sandwich Generation – taking care of teens as well as taking care of our elderly parents. Then most of us Baby Boomer women started experiencing Empty Nest in a big way as our children went off to college or out to work or travel. But many of us still had elderly parents that we were caring for, people are living longer, and we were there to take care of our parents. Now most of “The Greatest Generation” are dead or dying. Many women in the workshops I run speak with sadness of being hit twice – once as their children leave home, then again as their aging parents die. The Sandwich Generation has become Un-Sandwiched.

But now, many women are hit with “Triple Empty Nest” as I am calling it. This triple hit is a result of children leaving home, parents dying and then experiencing what has become known as “The Gray Divorce Revolution.” In the last few years, there has been an enormous increase in the divorce rate among the 50 – 65 year-old set. So many couples over 50 are ending marriages that the media have coined the term – The Gray Divorce Revolution.

In the U.S., one-quarter of all divorces now involve people over 50. And there is a similar trend in Canada, the UK, across Europe, Japan, Australia and New Zealand. It’s important to note that the overall divorce rate is actually going down, but it is spiking in the 50 and older set.

This phenomenon seems to be most problematic for women; one reason for this seems to be because the timing of Empty-Nest is a common point of marital breakdown. After years of looking after loved ones, of being a ‘good wife and mother’ and constantly focusing outside themselves, women lose touch with their own desires and needs, and they often struggle with feeling purposeless and directionless. It is very easy to fall into a sense of listlessness and ‘stuck-ness’ when a woman suddenly finds herself divorced and alone in an empty nest. And this is compounded by feelings of insecurity and a loss of self-esteem when the cause of this empty nest is divorce in middle age.

If you are experiencing Empty Nest, Double Empty Nest or Triple Empty Nest – I would love to hear from you. You can contact me via my website: www.thiswayupbook.com

It’s a very real phenomenon, and I’d love to help.

I look forward to hearing from you.

I’d like to close with a You Tube Video I’ve done about this very topic.

I’d love to hear about your experience with Empty Nest or Double or even Triple Empty Nest and how you are coping with it. And as always thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it.